Ye-Ye, My Hero

So much can happen in a day. This time yesterday, Ye-Ye, my grandfather was still here, barely here, but in this world. Now, he is happily dancing with Nai-Nai, my grandmother, under the full Harvest moon. It's ironic that the place of my birth twenty-one years ago was the same place of my grandfather's passing. Everything comes in full circle. 

Ye-Ye was my hero. As his only grand daughter, I did everything I could to make him proud. And hopefully, I did. He was always so loving and affectionate. Every time I saw him, his face would light up. "Ka-riiii-naaaa!!" he'd sing. He'd kiss me on the cheek, and we'd nuzzle noses. “Did you know, you look just like Zaza!" Zaza was my grandmother, his late wife. He loved her with all of his heart, and I always felt so blessed that I looked like her and had her personality. "How’s Harvard?" He'd ask. "What year are you now? A Sophomore? Wha?! A Senior?! You know your father went to Harvard too!" When I was younger, he would come up to me and say, "look Karina, there's a little mouse in there," moving his biceps up and down. He was always so cheerful and smiley. A few weeks ago, he asked me for the first time, "Do you have a boyfriend? No?! What? Oh, you must have several!"

Ye-Ye was so principled. He always put his family first, sacrificing everything for them. He did what he thought was morally correct and never shied away from hard work. Leaving his comfortable life in Hong Kong, he came to America to give his three sons a better future. Ye-Ye walked to work instead of taking the bus to save the ten-cents each way, and eventually saved enough to send all three of his sons to Harvard, Princeton and Yale! He always advised my father, "first put in the big rocks, then the small ones, then pebbles, then sand. Have your priorities straight and you’ll finish what you need to get done."

This week Ye-Ye reminded me of my own priorities. I had been stressing a bit on Thursday. From classes, to papers, and meetings for jobs and fellowships, my day was packed until 8 pm. By 8:30, I was so exhausted that I took a quick nap. Half an hour later, I found out from my parents that Ye-Ye had a second heart attack and was unconscious in the ICU. I had been so caught up in the future with work, job interviews, etc. that Ye-Ye and his situation jolted me back to the present, this precious moment. 

The very next day, I flew back home to California with Mason, a 16 hour ordeal rather than the usual 6. But fortunately, we finally arrived home at midnight. I am truly grateful that we got to be by Ye-Ye's side Saturday. While standing next to his bed, I recounted my past memories with him:

• Going over to his and Nai-Nai’s house when I was younger, staying over that one night. I slept on the scratchy cot and it was extremely hot but it was worth it. They were so delighted-- it made them young again.
• Ye-Ye cooking us breakfast on the weekends: bratwurst sausages and sunny side up eggs in the morning with milk tea in tall Chinese mugs. 
• Listening to musicals on their record player: Man of La Mancha, My Fair Lady, South Pacific.
• Playing with the little toys which went "ee-ee-ee, ee-ee-ee". I seriously don’t know how we didn’t drive them crazy!
• Playing Indian Poker with him, Nai Nai, mom, dad, and Mason. Nai Nai would put her card on her forehead laughing since she didn’t know what she was. Him teasing people, "Bus Stop".
• Sitting in his huge blue car. Helping him clean his garage.
• Eating banquets at the Mayflower, then walking around the Great Mall. 
• Going to Red Robbins for dinner because they knew we loved it there, getting corn dogs or spaghetti, ice cream.
• Eating Dim Sum on weekends-- he sure loved his chicken feet!
• Playing scrabble with Ye-Ye on summer nights with dad and Liza. Even though it pained me to hear Ye-Ye's wheezing while playing, I’m so grateful that I got to spent most summer evenings with him. "Who's turn is it?" He'd ask. "Mine?! Oh ok." He'd put down a creative word such as "USA" or "TV". We'd high five and he'd laugh his full, hearty laugh.

Thank you for waiting for us to see you, Ye-ye. You were always so considerate-- you even waited for all of us to be at the hospital at 6:45 before passing 10 minutes later. As a master planner, you planned your passing perfectly. Last night just happened to be the full moon of the Chinese Mid-Autumn Moon festival. Thus, you brought us all together, as this celebration is wont to do. Right before you left, my mother and I both felt your presence by the window. I saw you as a young man, smiling at me, singing "Kaaa-riiiii-naaaa" like you always do. You were so content and healthy, and ecstatic that you were going to see Nai Nai again. 
 

Ye-ye, I am eternally grateful that I knew you for my whole life and that you got to see me become an adult. You have taught me so much about giving unconditional love, keeping my priorities straight, being in the moment, and living my life to the fullest. You had a long, fruitful life, reaching 90 last month! You fulfilled everything you wanted to in your life, and passed away blissfully, knowing that all of your family is well taken care of, loved, and content. But still, I can't believe you're gone. I miss your huge, loving, beaming smile, your full-bellied laugh, your shuffling steps. Every time I pass our pool house, I keep thinking your light will be on, and that you are working quietly at your computer. But I am trying not to be sad. I know you are joyfully catching up with Nai Nai and dancing in the moonlight. Please give her a kiss for me. I love you both, always and forever.